mardi, mai 16, 2017

Really nothing to say about this

ОДИН ИЗ ЗАКОНОВ МЕРФИ В СЕКСЕ
Сексуальное влечение лечится только увеличением дозы секса.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 23:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Auf der Heizung liegt ein Ziegelstein.
Prüfer fragt: "Warum ist der Stein auf der Heizung abgewandten Seite wärmer?"
Prüfling: "Öhhh, [stammel], vielleicht wegen Wärmeleitung und so?"
Prüfer: "Nein, weil ich ihn gerade umgedreht habe."


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 23:11:02 (UTC+0200)

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Toda particula que voa sempre encontra um olho.
-- Joseph Murphy


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 22:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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PCHHHT !

M : L'odeur des produits à chiottes destinée à camoufler l'odeur de merde...
Vla !
M : ... est plus insupportable que l'odeur de merde elle-même ! Il faudrait inventer un aérosol à merde pour couvrir cette infection !


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 22:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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23:25 L'admin système de ma boîte il a mis le swap sur 2 bandes DAT en
RAID 0. Comme ça il n'y a pas de limite de taille et avec le RAID
c'est plus rapide que sans.
23:32 23:25 Il est con ton admin ? Pour le prix des lecteurs DAT il
aurait pu s'acheter au moins 200 Go de disques durs !!!
23:40 23:32 N'importe quoi !!! Et comment tu fait pour archiver le swap
avec des disques durs !!!!! Avec le lecteurs DAT il suffit de
changer les cassettes !!!! VA te coucher, pauv tache !
23:41 23:40 on peut savoir a quoi ca te sert d'archiver ton swap ?????
T'es malade ou quoi ?
23:46 23:41 Pfff t'as jamais travailler dans une vrai entreprise ou
quoi ???? La loi elle oblige à tout backuper et archiver !!!!
C'EST LA LOI



on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 21:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Les paradoxes posent un problème sérieux, non pas pour les
mathématiques, mais pour la logique et pour l'épistémologie.
-+- Kurt Gödel -+-


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 21:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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Entreprenuer, n.:
A high-rolling risk taker who would rather
be a spectacular failure than a dismal success.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 20:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Newton's Little-Known Seventh Law:
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 20:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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Největší vada lidského života je ta skutečnost, že v době, kdy dostáváme
opravdový rozum, stojíme už oběma nebo aspoň jednou nohou v hrobě.
-- John


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 19:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Čestná smrt je lepší než hanebný život.
HONESTA MORS TURPI VITA POTIOR.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 19:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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Era stata portata in tribunale a causa dell'omicidio di suo marito.
L'avevano vista con il fucile ancora fumante in mano.
Era stata prosciolta da ogni accusa perche' vedova.
-- Da http://www.e-link.ch/jack/jokes-i/jokes-i.sht


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 18:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Wer liebt, denkt nicht. Und wer denkt, liebt nicht.
-- Oscar Wilde


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 18:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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Esame di Fisica. Il ragazzo interrogato afferma, in stato confusionale,
che l'accelerazione di gravita' vale 9,81 cm al secondo quadro (invece
che 9,81 m/s^2). Il prof.: "Monti sul tavolo". Il ragazzo: "Come?".
Il prof.: "Monti sul tavolo, prego". Il ragazzo emozionato e intontito
dalla pressione da esame monta sul tavolo davanti a una quarantina di
persone che seguono l'orale. Il prof.: "Salti!". Il ragazzo salta giu'
dal tavolo. Il professore fa uno scatto come fosse stato colto da
sorpresa: "Ma come? Gia' e' atterrato?".
-- Da it.discussioni.leggende.metropolitane


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 17:34:02 (UTC+0200)

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I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along."
It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle.
-- Robert Benchley


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 17:11:02 (UTC+0200)

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Bon, et si je mettais EXP 1.1 en format RSA ?
-- Jayce - Pourquoi pas ? --


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 16:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Женская добродетель и впрямь должна быть велика, ведь её должно хватить на
двоих.
-- Мария, королева Румынии


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 16:11:02 (UTC+0200)

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Kočky jsou ve skutečnosti silně ekologicky založené. Například:
a) Kočky nikdy nepoužívají spreje obsahující freony a neohrožují tedy
ozónovou vrstvu.
b) Kočky neloví tuleně. Lovily by je, kdyby věděly, co to tuleni jsou, a
kde je najít. Jenže to nevědí, a tudíž je všechno v pořádku.
c) Totéž platí o velrybách. Lidé možná krmí kočky velrybím masem, ovšem
kočky o tom nemají ani potuchy. Stejně tak by jim chutnal sekaný velrybář.
d) Antarktida? Kočky ji s klidem nechávají na pokoji.
Kočky však mají i stinné ekologické stránky:
Všechny kočky trvají na tom, že musí mít kožich z pravé kůže.
-- T. Pratchett: Nefalšovaná kočka


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 15:34:02 (UTC+0200)

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Činnost (vykonání činnosti) nemůže osoba (dále jen proveditel)
provést v období, tedy časovém úseku, které by bylo delší než 1 (jeden)
den ode dne, kdy jsou splněny všechny předpoklady pro vykonání této
(výše uvedené) činnosti proveditelem.
-- Česká přísloví ve vědecké češtině


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 15:11:02 (UTC+0200)

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Jak by byly ženy miloučké, kdyby nechtěly být šťastné!
-- Guitry


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 14:34:02 (UTC+0200)

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Q: What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey?
A: Well, most of the time you get an onion with big ears, but every
once in a while you get a piece of ass that will bring tears to
your eyes...


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 14:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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o. Rydzyk: - Nie dopaliły się jeszcze zgliszcza WTC, a już kongresmani
amerykańscy dyskutują o legalizacji związków homoseksualnych. Tym samym
bardziej szkodzą Ameryce niż terroryści.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 13:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Etwas kurz gesagtes kann die Frucht und Ernte von vielen
Lang-Gedachten sein.
-- Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche (Menschliches, Allzumenschliches)


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 13:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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Na jedné straně je rozhodování tím nejfantastičtějším projevem biologické
aktivity, na druhé straně některé jeho důsledky naplňují hrůzou celé
lidstvo. (str. 192)
-- Churchman


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 12:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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#debian.pl
(o sesji która zmieniała nicki co minutę:)
Nov 09 16:52:05 <Verdan> Ignorance List:
Nov 09 16:52:06 <Verdan> 17:15 1 *!*@g3.pl: CRAP MSGS NOTICES SNOTES CTCPS
ACTIONS JOINS PARTS QUITS KICKS MODES TOPICS WALLOPS INVITES NICKS DCC DCCMSGS
CLIENTNOTICES CLIENTCRAP CLIENTERRORS HILIGHTS
Nov 09 16:52:36 <Verdan> jest nicks i dalej mnie meczy
Nov 09 16:53:49 <lastat> 3g a nie g3 :P
Nov 09 16:54:02 <Verdan> o
Nov 09 16:54:12 <vail> muahahah ;]
Nov 09 16:54:16 <Verdan> :)
Nov 09 16:54:25 <Verdan> ops dwa miesiace sie mecze przez literowke ....


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 12:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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There was a young girl from the Bronix
Who had a vagina of onyx.
She had so much `tsoris'
With her clitoris,
She traded it in for a Packard.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 11:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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"We have an *eclectic* tradition in the United States... Christians of
various stripes are part of this, as are humanists and agnostics, but
this does not make the United States a Christian nation or even a Judeo-
Christian one. We are a mixed accumulation of our past, and it is the
Christian dogmatists, not the secularists, who are the major threat to
our pluralistic democratic tradition."
[Vern Bullough, "Do We Have a Judeo-
Christian Heritage?" in Free Inquiry]


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 11:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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La Lune est le Soleil des statues.
-+- Jean Cocteau -+-


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 10:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Dni tomu blížíme se úprkem. Nedivno, že nervy se chvějí a v očích se jiskří.

-- "Brannou vítěznou", Týdeník Tábor, 30. 7. 1902


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 10:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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Prospěšná bývá rada jen v jednom případě. V jakém? Když jde Pokora
k Moudrosti na radu.
-- Havlíček-Borovský


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 09:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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22:18 <@RMF> blues^: dzimi powinien miec 0-700-KERNEL - oplata 1Euro/min+Vat


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 09:11:02 (UTC+0200)

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And I heard Jeff exclaim,
As they strolled out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all --
You take credit cards, right?"
-- "Outsiders" comic


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 08:34:02 (UTC+0200)

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INTERROGATOIRE

Tchak ! Tchak !
M : Encore en train de torturer, salopard !
P : Si tu crois que ça me fait plaisir ! J'essaie de lui faire avouer que c'est une terroriste du Hamas !


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 08:11:02 (UTC+0200)

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la DC c 'est pour les piratins
et la Nintendo c 'est pour les pokefans
-+- GaVaGe in GPJ: Le cerveau c'est pas pour toi.-+-


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 07:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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O c�u sueco.
-- pal�ndromo


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 07:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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Bagband, das
Korrekte Bezeichnung für Klebeband in unaufmerksamen Händen.
-- Douglas Adams, John Lloyd, Sven Böttcher ("Der tiefere Sinn des Labenz")


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 06:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Стоит цветам жизни чуть подрасти, как у них появляются колючки.
-- Т.Клейман


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 06:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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--==>> THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS <<==--

as you've NEVER seen them before!

(__) (__)
^^ (oo) (--)
^^^^ /-------\/ /-\/-\
^^^^^ / | || /| |\
^^^^^ * ||----|| ^ | | ^
^^^^^^^^ ====^^====^^==== | |
^^^^^^^^^^^^^/ /----\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ / \ \
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^ * ^
Cow Hanging Ten at Malibu Cow sunning at Fort Lauderdale
(What a bod, huh guys?)


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 05:34:02 (UTC+0200)

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Гони от дома си човека, който ти нашепва клевети за други.
-- Талес


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 05:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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ONE THING KIDS LIKE is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take
my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to a burned-out
warehouse. "Oh, oh," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and
cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke.

I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 04:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Некоторых людей можно развлечь только поскользнувшись и упав на
обледенелой мостовой.
-- Джордж Бернард Шоу


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 04:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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__
/ `
|
__|_
/ 00 \
\(__)/
_.--._
/' `\
/| |\
`| o |'
`\____/'
(___::___) (c)Mike'95



on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 03:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Un Americano e' una persona che non ha paura di criticare il Presidente
ma e' sempre gentile con gli agenti della Stradale.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 03:11:02 (UTC+0200)

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Wszystkie te chwile, które na zawsze zmieniają życie człowieka, przychodzą
niespodziewanie. Przykładem tego jest śmierć.

Terry Pratchett, "Równoumagicznienie"


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 02:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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RÉVÉLATION

M : Dans la vie, je fais quoi ? Je chie, je bouffe...
P : Si tu fais ça dans cet ordre... je comprends pourquoi tu pues de la gueule !


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 02:11:02 (UTC+0200)

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Cosa rende una notizia una buona notizia?
Una signora entra in un negozio di animali specializzato in volatili, e
chiede al commesso come si fa a distinguere un usignolo maschio da un
usignolo femmina. Il commesso dice: "E' semplice: un usignolo maschio
mangia i vermi femmina". "Ma come si fa a distinguere un verme femmina
da un verme maschio?", chiede la signora. "Questo", dice il commesso,
"deve chiederlo in un negozio di vermi".
-- Panfilo Maria Lippi (Daniele Luttazzi), "TABLOID"


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 01:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Można szukać Bieguna Północnego albo bawić się w "lata ptaszek po
ulicy", albo łapać ptaszki w sidła - to zupełnie obojętne.
-- Z Ponurnika Kłapouchego


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 01:11:01 (UTC+0200)

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Solo gli ottusi sono brillanti la mattina a colazione.
-- Oscar Wilde


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 00:34:01 (UTC+0200)

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Całuj jeśli ci dziewczyna nie zabrania całowania.
Całuj również wtedy, kiedy ci zabrania.


on the mardi 16 mai 2017, 00:11:01 (UTC+0200)